Childless Stepparent

for stepmoms + stepdads with the unique challenges – and gifts – of creating a family with their spouse + their spouse's child(ren) and no child(ren) of their own

Category: spouse

Letting Go of the Little Things

spouse
My husband refers to his former wife as “Mommy” when talking to his daughter. I think when parents are married and children are young, referring to each other as “Mommy” and “Daddy” is natural. When the parents are divorced and the child is almost 10 years old, it seems odd to me.

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3 Ways to Put Your Marriage First

spouse
For the past two years, I made the mistake of spending way too much time with my husband talking about his former wife and their daughter. I realize now how important it is to step back, breathe, and let go.

While my husband has let me work through this in my own way, it’s what he wanted all along: for us to enjoy our life together while he manages those relationships.

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3 Ways to Support Your Spouse as a Parent

spouse
Figuring out how involved – or not involved – you should be when it comes to supporting your spouse as a parent can be tough.

Here are three things you can do that will support your spouse and empower yourself at the same time:

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The Hardest Thing I’ve Done as a Childless Stepparent

spouse
I’ve faced many challenges as a childless stepparent. I’ve made peace with the fact that the part of myself I thought I would give my child – as a mom – has nowhere to go. I’ve learned how to be a balanced, positive presence in my stepchild’s life. I’ve decided to ignore my husband’s former wife, who often intrudes into our life. Those things are hard but they are all things I can change within myself.

Without a doubt, the hardest thing I’ve done as a childless stepparent is this: accepting that my husband will handle his former wife in his own way.

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Your Spouse Must Build a Strong Foundation

spouse
When you marry someone with children from a previous marriage, you enter into relationships that you have no control over. The dynamics between your husband and his former wife and children have nothing to do with you. You cannot change these relationships, you cannot even manage them. That’s up to your husband.

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I Am a Wife First and a Stepparent Second

spouse
As I make sense of my role in my husband’s daughters life – especially when things get tangled – I take a step back, breathe, and give thanks for my husband.

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Align Yourself with Your Spouse

spouse

It may be tempting to step in and demand that things are done differently – especially when your husband isn’t parenting the way you would if you were a parent, or when your husband doesn’t handle his former wife the way you think he should.

Resist the temptation. Step back. Breathe. Let go.

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