Childless Stepparent

for stepmoms + stepdads with the unique challenges – and gifts – of creating a family with their spouse + their spouse's child(ren) and no child(ren) of their own

Category: societal expectations

The Myth of the “Blended Family”

societal-expectations
Wednesday Martin, author of the breakthrough book Stepmonster, has been studying stepfamilies for a decade. She argues strongly against unrealistic societal expectations that perpetuate “blended families” as the ideal. In fact, she wants to ban the term “blended family” altogether.

I agree. We must create new language that accurately describes who we are.

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Advice for Childless Stepparents on the Holidays

societal-expectations
Enjoy your husband. Enjoy the festivities. Work together to make things nice for your stepchild.

Recognize that no matter what you do, the holidays are hard for children of divorce. Be compassionate.

Let your husband and his former wife work out the details when it comes to their child. Allow traditions that they had with their child. Introduce your own traditions.

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“He Thought She Was My Real Mommy”

societal-expectations
Today my husband, his daughter, and I attended a live theater broadcast of the Royal Ballet’s The Nutcracker. We all got dressed up and made it a special occasion. A lovely way to celebrate Christmas and a way for me to share one of my holiday traditions with my new family (something I advise childless stepparents to do).

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“Love Your Stepchildren As Your Own”

societal-expectations
Many stepparents have heard this advice (often from people who are not stepparents): “You should love your stepchildren as your own.”

My response? That is IMPOSSIBLE.

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