Letting Go of the Little Things

by childless stepparent

My husband refers to his former wife as “Mommy” when talking to his daughter. I think when parents are married and children are young, referring to each other as “Mommy” and “Daddy” is natural. When the parents are divorced and the child is almost 10 years old, it seems odd to me.

This morning, I heard my husband talking on the phone with his daughter and I thought to myself, “you know, it might be good if he referred to his former wife as ‘your mom’ instead of ‘Mommy.'” As in: “Your mom and I will be at the talent show.” Or “Your mom said you have fun plans this weekend!” Or “That’s great, why don’t you ask your mom?” This would support healthy boundaries and might help his daughter continue to grow out of her babyishness.

But I must remember my manifesto. This is not my place. Calling his former wife “Mommy” works for my husband and his daughter. It may irk me, but it’s really none of my business. These are my husband’s relationships to manage.

So I re-read The Childless Stepparent Manifesto.

I take a step back, breathe, and let go.

Manifesto #4 | My husband chose his former wife to be his child’s mother. He must take responsibility for the consequences of that choice for himself and his daughter.

Question: Are there little things that irk you that you’re learning to let go of? Leave a comment!