Advice for Childless Stepparents on the Holidays

by childless stepparent

Enjoy your husband. Enjoy the festivities. Work together to make things nice for your stepchild.

Recognize that no matter what you do, the holidays are hard for children of divorce. Be compassionate.

Let your husband and his former wife work out the details when it comes to their child. Allow traditions that they had with their child. Introduce your own traditions.

You may have imagined what holidays would be like with your own child. Acknowledge that what you have now is not that. If you’re forcing things to be what you imagined, stop. Let go. If this brings sadness, that’s okay. Allow yourself to grieve a little.

You may experience the joy of the holidays but you will not experience it as a parent. It will be something else for you. Allow this experience to be what it is.

As a childfree spouse, you can – and should – create time for yourself, especially during the holidays.

Step back. Breathe. Let go.

Manifesto #1 | I am a childless stepparent. My stepchild has two involved parents. I don’t need to take on a parenting role.

Manifesto #2 | I am a wife first and a stepparent second. I will enjoy being childfree. I will create time and space for myself.