Align Yourself with Your Spouse
by childless stepparent
It may be tempting to step in and demand that things are done differently – especially when your husband isn’t parenting the way you would if you were a parent, or when your husband doesn’t handle his former wife the way you think he should.
Resist the temptation. Step back. Breathe. Let go.
This isn’t about being a doormat. This is about empowering yourself by choosing to let things unfold naturally.
If your stepchild is in harm’s way or your husband’s former wife intrudes into your life in a harmful way, then you must work with your husband to make changes. Otherwise, remember: these are your husband’s relationships. He needs to manage them his way.
Taking a step back works only when your husband is an involved parent and handles his former wife so that her impact is minimal. Those are his responsibilities, things he must do whether you are in his life or not.
Don’t let your ego get in the way. Stepping in and trying to change dynamics that existed before you came into the picture will lead to frustration, conflict, and heartache.
Align yourself with your spouse. Support his role as parent. Listen when he needs it. Give advice when asked. Work together to build a peaceful home. Contribute on your own terms.
Empower yourself by putting your energy where it will benefit your spirit, your marriage, your career, your interests, your home, your family, your friendships.
Manifesto #6 | I will be kind to my stepchild. I will support my husband in his role as her dad. I will contribute – on my own terms.